… the lives lost 8 years back!

PS: On a brief and unexpected hiatus. Hoping to get back as soon as soon can be.

A year has passed since I left my home to come over for studies. Although Ive been away from home for the past 8 years, this is perhaps the longest Ive been away without the intermittent, if not periodic, visits that I paid over the weekends. Over the last one year, there has been a myriad of adventures, experiences and struggles in my life, that words fail me, when I sit back to write on this overwhelming retrospection.

I might be miles and miles away from my home, but I know I left my heart back there when I left and it sure will remain there forever….

Wise men from the mountains say, you don’t realise that you love someone until you lose her for sometime, be it a few hours or a couple of months or forever. Although I tried to keep myself aware of this in every possible manner, somehow along the way, I faltered. We have had a long long association dating back to Jan 2004, when I first got introduced to her. Since then she listened to every word I told her. Sometimes I poured out my frustrations, some other times they were “words of wisdom” or simply snapshots of things I see around me. I have ignored her many-a-times, even to the extend that I never saw her for 2 whole months. Still she stuck on. I took her for granted wherever I went and whatever I did. I always had the belief that she would be with me all throughout. The belief turned into a “confidence” and that went soaring high, beyond my reach….

Then it happened. I lost contact with her for a few hours, yesterday. My world came crashing down. I felt as though I lost her. My mind went blank for a while, when I frantically tried to get back in touch with her. Every minute seemed like a day and the wait was long. Finally, she came back at 2:00 am in the morning.

And

I realised Im in love …. with my blog !! I promised myself that I would never take her for granted again and hence decided to take a backup of everything I told her !!

A year, it has been, since I started blogging here ! And I realised that it has been 2 years since I actually started blogging, when I made my first entry here . So I decided to devote this day to read up on my entries over the past two years. And this is how I started off on the 27th of January 2004…

I have always wanted to have a place to “type in” my thoughts, partly because I hated writing on a paper. Probably the fact that I am a software engineer, with my hands always tied to the keyboard, made me hate a pen. Whoever said a pen is mightier than a sword !!! Its now a keyboard thats mightier still. Here i start my account, as a man with lots to “pen” down.

Jumpa Lahiri’s Namesake – was it the book I was reading then ? The chronicles was what I would have called it then, when I literally wrote everyday about the small yet significant events that happened in my Life.

Then came a time when I started writing about things that I read, amidst my travels through the webworld !! And here was where I started it all…

Hope noone had any bad experience today. For all those who haven’t realised what I’m talking about, today is FRIDAY the 13TH !!!! Well, if today is 13th, tomorrow has to be 14th … he he and since it happens to be Feb. 14th, it has become even more colorful (i meant tomorrow is a “second saturday”, calenders mark them as red ). Probably you all might have gone deeper into the subject of “valentines day” (which is tomorrow !!! ). Its only today that I happened to dig in. And as always, I put down my study on everything, in this blog (GOD save the blog !!! )
Obviously, Valentine’s day has been set aside to honor (honor ??) love. This tradition has been passed on, through ages, since 496 AD, when Pope Gelasius named this day after Saint Valentine. It is still a mystery as to who Saint Valentine is. There are several versions of the personality he is. Here are some of them………… and it went on …

Lyrics of songs that I listened to have always been my choices and “Dont Cry” “Breakdown” and “Dream” soon found their way into the blog !! The “forwards” that came into my inbox too made its presence in there, like the suicide note of Kurt Cobain, which started off as ..

To Boddah ( think it stands for Buddha, I have heard , he had followed buddhism at times … he he )

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

But be it the lyrics, the forwards, or the everyday life, I always made it a point to update this space regularly. Then came a time when I started to slow down. I knew not, what made me do this. But one day I saw this entry finding its way into the pages in my “diary” ..

Planning on a sabbatical from the blog world, for a week or two…….. just to get myself back together again

Was it a sudden loss of interest in writing, or was it something that hit me then.. Im still to find out .. As time went on, the boredom that the slowly crept into me started to show in my blog too, like this entry which I wrote on the 4th of November 2004.

Its cold in Bangalore !!!! he he ….

There is absolutely nothing to watch on TV these days…

And this was my new year resolution on 1st January 2005

Never thought of making resolutions this time, since they don’t last for more than a week. So I just charted out things which I plan to accomplish, over the year, which I hope would stay !!!!

Quite surprisingly, this did not change the next year too, when I said …

As usual, this year too, I refrained from making a new year resolution, or at least I decided to delay it till a week passed by, because a resolution on the New year’s eve, has never lasted beyond a week for me !! Another three more days and Im sure to come up with my resolution !!

And Happy New Year, however “belated” this wish has been……

One day, I flew. I flew to the other side of the globe, and I wrote …

Interesting the way time zone differences play around with peoples life. Specially when you hear someone pinging you from the other side of the world, saying its weekend there, and he is going out for a cricket match, and Im still at the office, on a Friday evening, anxiously waiting for THE saturday to come. Thats when you “miss” your country the MOST !!!! lol

And I saw this …

I walk around. I see the places around my cubicle and my building. Its always coupled with either a dose of caffeine or a visit to the canteen. And what do I see… Half of the people, here, do not sit in their cubicles (no wonder the whole place is silent !!!). Better still, I see most cubicles around, empty most of the time in a day. Is it that there is so much space in the company and they do not have “man-power” to fill into these places ? Searching for humans amidst the dozens of computers and laptops in my floor, I end up in the lab. Surprisingly, I find that most people sit in the labs, during work hours. The reason is simple. They do not get disturbed by the whole lot of calls that come into the voip. Talking of the “whole lot of calls”, I just realised that Im missing the routine “credit card calls” I get back in India !!!

The thought of leaving my old blog in search of newer sites, came in on Feb. 14th 2005. And the search began.

For sometime again, I went back to the days of writing down on things I read, and the travels I made, before I found myself this space. And I titled the first entry I made here as “First post on MY blog”.

Slowly, pictures started making its entry into the blog, such as this . I became more and more irregular, with occasional posts on my travels, my experiences, and my observations !! And here I am, two years hence, making the longest entry ever, in my blog !!!

Wise men say, lives change, perspectives change and experiences change too. And so has it been for me – two years, with umpteen experiences, a lot of ups, with a few downs too in between. Travelling down the memory lane, reading through the myriad of entries that I have made, I realised that I have come a long way ! I dont know what lies ahead of me, but I do know that what Ive seen till date is just a miniscule fraction of what waits for me ….

So, with a slight pause there, to look back, here I plunge again into this game called Life, with my winamp playing “The Dance” by Garth Brooks…

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you’d ever say goodbye
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I the king
But if I’d only known how the king would fall
Hey who’s to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance

My friend once left a comment – ” Well your life seems to documneted here, my friend, well atleast u have a life. glamdring bows before the Ghostrider”